The OC: The Disconnect (episode 9)

Summer gets a 2300 on the SAT's! (At first I thought Summer was being extra dumb since 2300 is way too high, but I heard the SAT's now total 2400 and not 1600). Seth is surprised, and a lot jealous!

Marissa is taking care of Johnny since Johnny's mom is AWOL and Chili is nowhere to be found. Later Johnny's mom comes home and has Good news...Mom gets an appointment with a sports medicine doctor, the best around. He can do Johnny's knee surgery. But the Bad news...since Johnny is poor; he has to wait months before he'll see Johnny. Marissa decides to work a little magic for Johnny.

Julie and Kirsten talk about the business to open together. They settle on a catering business. Sounds great.

With Summer's newly found brains, she decides "maybe Brown is the place for me after all" and tells Seth about it. Seth is reading Kierkegaard and she settles down to read it with him. "Now that I'm smart, I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

Sandy and Matt have a business meeting at the Cohen Compound. Ryan is hanging around, and makes some insightful comments about a low-income structure they are going to build (continuity: Ryan is interested in architecture and stuff), so Matt offers him an internship at the Newport Group.

Marissa does some internet digging and finds out that her mom sat on the charity board at the hospital and Summer's dad works for the same hospital. Maybe she'll pull some strings to get Johnny a little closer to knee surgery? And should she be using a laptop so soon after last week's freakout? While this is happening, Johnny tells Summer he likes all the attention Marissa is showering on him; he's really starting to like her like her! Summer called it like two episodes ago!

Summer tries to talk Marissa into not spending so much time with Johnny being his nursemaid. Marissa scoffs at this and says she LOVES doing things for Johnny since his mom is away all the time. Then Marissa says, "I like being a nursemaid. Maybe I should be a nurse!" Summer snorts, "Yeah, that's a good one."

Julie and Kirsten have a business lunch. Julie looks bored, and Kirsten is annoyed that Julie looks bored. While Kirsten goes to the car to get some papers, a cute guy gives Julie the eye. She uses her feminine wiles to get a client for 5 grand! Kirsten is really impressed.

Harbor. Seth and Summer go to the Brown hopefuls meeting. They learn that typically only one student from Harbor gets into Brown. Seth is upset that Summer may get into Brown and he might not, though he's had a dream of going there ever since two weeks ago.

Marissa pulls the right strings and gets Johnny an appointment for the knee surgery! Johnny's mom wants to celebrate by playing board games and watching movies. Marissa is all in, but she's supposed to meet Ryan for dinner. She calls him to join them.

Newport Group Global Headquarters. Ryan and Matt bond over paperwork. Matt starts yammering about how his girlfriend dumped him when he moved out to the OC, even when he asked her to marry him. So he's really sad-distracted. Just then Sandy comes in and dumps a ton of work on Matt that has to be done in the morning for some very important clients! So how does Matt handle the pressure...a coffee run? Only if you replace the word "coffee" with "stripper." Matt takes Ryan to the cleanest strip club ever. Matt even gets Ryan inside by paying off the bouncer! But Ryan is having a terrible time. I guess he's only attracted to girls that look like the poles the strippers are dancing on.

Speaking of Marissa, she's sleeping with Johnny! Well, they're asleep next to each other after watching some movies.

Seth and Summer decide to compete to get into Brown. Seth, by hilariously becoming the school mascot (Harbor Pirate--arrr!) and Summer playing the tuba. I wish I were kidding. Seth and Summer get into it, saying they need more extracurriculars to get into Brown. Yeah, because Brown would never admit Summer with her interim social chair status AND her ability to pay full tuition, or Seth, who almost creating a friggin' comic book company last year AND pay full tuition.

Newport Group Big Meeting with VIP's. Matt oversleeps and is totally unprepared. He blows the meeting, and scurries out, embarrassed. Sandy tracks him down to the strip club and promptly fires Matt. Not because he bungled the meeting, or because he dragged Ryan to a strip club, but because he was lied to. Ooh, feel the burn!

Julie and Kirsten cater the party for the 5 grand guy. When they get to his house, it's just him...no party! Turns out he wanted a date with Julie...and he was willing to pay 5 grand for it. Kirsten is offended and leaves, but Julie stays, thinking it's "sweet." No Julie, it's prostitution. Then again, she was married to Caleb Nichol (zing!)

While playing nursemaid, Johnny takes too many painkillers and slurring, tells Marissa he loves her. She's freaked out over it, but still wants to stay friends with Johnny. Summer thinks she should stay away from him. Marissa thinks she can handle it.

Post-Date analysis. Julie thinks 5 grand guy is gross and won't go out with him again. But it does give Kirsten an idea for a business...a high end dating service! Crappy, but better than the catering service.

One of the strippers stops by the Newport Group and persuades Sandy to give Matt another chance. "He's been under a lot of pressure, his girlfriend dumped him...blah blah blah." She's believable because not only is she a stripper, she's Matt's college buddy AND is paying for law school by sitting in laps and dancing! Smart woman, obviously. Sandy goes into Matt's office and basically gives him another chance. Sandy does have a soft spot for troubled kids.

Seth and Summer form a truce from ridiculous extracurriculars. They'll just both try to get into Brown and hope for the best.

Marissa and Ryan finally talk to each other about their crazy weekends. Ryan at a strip club, Marissa with Johnny. I don't know about you, but I know which one I want to hear about less.

Next week: Another Chrismukkah Miracle!