The OC: The Road Warrior (episode 16)

The show opens with Summer in her room with a voice over going about her life. Marissa comes in and asks what she's doing. So the voice over isn't happening for the audience only! Summer says she wanted her life to sound more exciting, like on her favorite show "The Valley" so she went to the trouble of recording herself about things she was going to do and play a commentary when she actually did those things. Yeah, I would have done EXACTLY the same thing in high school because I had that much free time.

Summer and Marissa sit in a hot tub with Seth. They are waiting for Ryan to show up. But they decide to have a little fun with Seth by trying to instigate a threesome. When the girls start touching and rubbing Seth, he gets out of the tub to call Ryan. So much added estrogen can really get to a guy. Unless he and Ryan really DO have something goin' on the side. Ryan doesn't answer his phone, because he's helping Johnny's cousin Sadie fix up J's mom's house. The mom is in Oregon. The police come to the house, looking for Johnny's mom and Marissa. Apparently, Johnny's mom had an insurance policy on his life, and suddenly Johnny's death isn't looking so accidental.

Summer is worried that her dad is working way too much after divorcing his wife (she doesn't know Dr. Neil isn't around so much because he's doin' the Coop). After talking to Taylor, Summer goes to NewMatch partner Julie Cooper for help, she decides that she needs to pick out her dad's next girlfriend, lest he end up with a "money-grubbing slut bag in the back of his Maserati" like...well...Julie. So Summer gives Julie the dish on what Dr. Neil goes after in a woman, complete with a fantasy of Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct." It would have been much more in-jokey if he had a thing for Jennifer Beals in "Flashdance." I'm still hoping that Ms. Beals shows up to play Summer's mom.

Some stuff happens with Matt and Maya, the daughter of the hospital magnate. Sandy suddenly wants Matt to use his relationship with Maya to get dad on board to build a hospital. Matt is having second thoughts, since he's really starting to dig her.

Since the death benefits for Johnny are held up, Sadie decides to find Johnny's dad to get him to pay back child support. Which means--road trip! Wooo! Of course Ryan smells "girl in trouble" and volunteers to go along. They track dear old dad to Indio (which is very depressing, I've been there before). Because it's so late when they get there, Sadie and Ryan share a cheap motel room and bond over poker. He's having so much fun he conveniently ignores a cell phone call from Marissa.

Julie sets up the Sharon Stone fantasy for Dr. Neil at a highbrow restaurant in Newport, where Taylor Townsend happens to be picking up some takeout and sees the whole thing. She hotfoots it over to Seth and Summer, where Summer refuses to believe it without hard proof. Taylor is all over it. "They're going golfing next."

Marissa is being investigated by the police. Sandy drops everything to help out. They question her, and confront her with the letter she wrote Johnny that said she didn't love him. You know, the one Johnny threw in the fire and burned up. Well, it didn't burn more than it was "tastefully singed." Somehow the investigation is dropped, but it doesn't mean she can't feel sorry for herself! Marissa goes to the spot where Johnny dies, and Volchok magically appears with a flask and some lame story about he and Johnny being friends before becoming surfing enemies.

Indio. Sadie and Ryan find the wildly successful Jack Harper and his bail bond office. Of course, he is incredibly receptive to giving his ex-wife some money. By that I mean not at all. Sadie doesn't take this well and starts smashing up Jack's truck with a conveniently located metal bar. Jack tries to stop her, Ryan tries to stop him from stopping her, the bail bondsmen stop him from stopping him stopping her (yeah...) by beating the crap out of Ryan while Sadie wails "stop it!" Welcome to Indio, bitch!

The trio of Seth, Summer, and Taylor witness Julie and Dr. Neil getting down on the driving range (nudge nudge). Summer is horrified, vowing to come up with a plan to drive them apart.

Ryan is actually ok despite being beat up by four grown men, so much that after getting patched up he steals Sadie's car and goes back to the bail bonds place and has a heart to heart with Jack Harper. He plays the Chino broken home card, stating that leaving your family without money (like his dad did), they will have no chance in life. Though Johnny is dead, Jack should try to make things right with his ex-wife because its the right thing to do. Jack keeps his macho pride and throws Ryan out, but with an envelope full of cash. Softy. Sadie miraculously pulls up just then in a cab. I'm sure with the money it took to hire a cab in Indio and drive to some random-ass bail bonds place, that cash Jack gave them should about cover it.

Sandy continues to goad Matt into using Maya to slip the hospital proposal to her dad. At a fancy dinner with Kirsten and Sandy, Sandy makes a strong pitch to Maya, practically begging her to show her dad the proposal. She connects the dots and asks Matt if he thinks this is a good idea. He says yes, and Maya excuses herself from the table...but after she agrees to show her dad the proposal. Kirsten gives Sandy the stink eye. Later, Sandy finds out Maya's pop loved the proposal. Maya, however, has decided to move to New York and won't be seeing Matt anymore. Kirsten is pissed that Sandy forced Matt to sandbag his relationship with Maya and is now offically "worried" about him.

Marissa sits alone at the Bait Shop when Ryan calls. As a sad indie song plays in the background, they have a terse conversation. Ryan and Marissa decide they have been so disconnected lately, they just need to break up. Finally! Just then, Sadie walks into the room with a deck of cards. Ooo, I feel some sexy results coming on!